Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

"Sorry Madam was there something wrong with your meal?" I innocently queried while steeling my ego for the bruising it was about to receive.

Table 6 had paid and were heading for the door but had eluded to a young staff member they hadn't enjoyed the mint sauce on their lamb roast.

"The Mint sauce was off! Horrible. And the hollandaise on the cauliflower...disgusting" she grunted making minimal eye contact.

And then....the peace de resistance , the big kahuna, the Hiroshima of hospitality feedback and the cornerstone of any vitriol from irate customers....

"We won't be coming back!"

Now I have heard this before. I have read it in reviews. But I still find it fascinating that people need to express this unwavering commitment.

Do they do this at the movies when they wander out from an unimpressive blockbuster?

Do they mention it at the Zoo after an insipid showing from the lions, the bears and any other big ticket species?

Now don't get me wrong. Things aren't some times to the liking of a customer and we consider carefully all such feedback.

But the idle threat of not coming back? I wonder if these people are carrying other pain bodies. Shitty on the world for whatever reason and feeling a need to inflict a bit of misery on someone else. I fear the same types sit at their keyboards or stare at their mobiles waiting to anonymously knock someone or something on those wonderful social media platforms we have plugged society into.

I have actually considered having a legal document drafted so the next suggestion of never returning can be backed up in a binding agreement. Other occasions I have simply felt like saying "Do you promise!?"

In hospitality you move on pretty quickly, you have to, but it brings me to the point that some of us are susceptible to words just as much as actions.

What about the whiny verse..."Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me!"

Both phrases among others speak to the fact that a lot can be said with little impact. That shouldn't give us a license to then dispense jargon or opinion and assume the recipient will just brush it off.

Can you recall a time where someone said something and it has remained with you. Healthy? Probably not! The gift is an opportunity to examine why it hurts and action the necessary healing required.

I wonder though how many people "don't" deal with it and carry it around for most of their lives. A 65 year old man told me recently about a vivid remark made by his Mum some 42 years ago that has scarred him to this day. His Mum is long since passed but not the comment.

I am still haunted by an angry quip I delivered to my 13 year old son during a footy grand final almost 10 years ago that left him in tears and me with a remorseful knot in my stomach.

In Jay Shetty's book "Think Like A Monk", he speaks of the 3 "C" challenge.

That is to never Complain, never Criticise and never Compare. Try it for a day, then a week. Challenge your family, your friends, your colleagues. It is tough! Keep a mental count or jot it down but keep score and you will be amazed just how much we do it! As Shetty pointed out once you can get through a decent period of not scoring is when you see significant shifts in our outlook on life and others.

Trip advisor would die a slow and miserable death should the globe all become Monks!

Alternatively the power of saying something positive to someone is unmeasurable and could not only make someone's day, it could actually save a life. Fortunately for us we are blessed to have many patrons commit to "coming back" and for that we are extremely grateful.