Careful What You Wish For

I wasn’t in the gig long with the Townsville Crocodiles. I had been a co emcee for a few games but this night the energy was abundant. Known for having the most vocal crowds in the National Basketball League, the Townsville Entertainment Centre was at capacity this balmy North Queensland evening. The quarter time game I was co-ordinating was discussed during the week. Dubbed “Tug Of War”, I was to scan the crowd, find 2 willing participants, attach them by a giant elastic bungee cord and have them use their strength to gain advantage at either end of the court. First to shoot a basket wins!

Wanting to have an impact and entertain the 5,000 strong crowd I was meticulous in my selection to guarantee some high jinks come the first break. I sourced the biggest dude I could find and then a man possibly half his size. They met me courtside and as the quarter time hooter sounded, it was time to shine. My 2 guinea pigs were keen and eager, and it was then I made a crucial error of judgement. Instead of starting the 2 competitors at the top of each 3-point line which the giant elastic cord allowed for, I raced them out to the middle of the court, attached their harnesses and quickly coiled the rope like a slick cowboy twirling his lasso. They squared off back-to-back like the O.K. Corral.

I could sense the anticipation and concern among the crowd. After galvanising half of the arena to support either victim I explained the rules and projected in a booming voice…. “GO!” Suddenly the laws of gravity came rushing to my brain! Oh shit. I giggled anxiously like a mad scientist observing my experiment. After what seemed like an eternity but merely seconds the two combatants reached the full expansion of the cord and with that Boiiiinng….thud….and a collective sigh from the blood thirsty spectators. Big man's girth created enormous velocity and saw his much smaller foe hurtled backwards through the air before he came smacking down on the hard wooden arena. The stage manager cupped his head mike as I scurried past and whispered “Ya fucked that up!” Sure enough the airborne aerialist required medical attention. I was later told he sought further compensation for damages. I wanted drama, a thrill, some entertainment which I achieved but to what expense.

Spite is a venomous trait which like a hazardous chemical can be dangerous if not used responsibly. Of course, harnessed in the right manner it can drive powerful action. A friend of mine recently was having staff issues within his company. A leading hand had announced abruptly that he was leaving the firm effective immediately. My friend naturally sought validation behind the decision and was told “It’s a sinking ship and I don’t want to be on it”. As the leader of the business my friend was taken back and most disappointed. After some soul searching, he decided that he would use this spite for the better. It would have been easy to use it personally or directly to the outgoing staff member, but he used it internally to drive forward, to sail his ‘sinking ship’ into the calm blue waters he was seeking. He has never felt more focused and determined and thanks the mutiny of sorts every day.

Personal vendetta, finger pointing, and the like won’t help you continue onward. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by harnessing anger toward anyone or anything. We know how strong that emotion is right? Bitterness, resentment, disbelief? So why not use its force to cultivate some counter energy. In most cases the initial angst or hurt caused by another person says more about them than it does you. Easier said than accepted I know. I still struggle with this. I seek validation when I feel as though my character is called into question. I become overwhelmed. I wonder if other people suffer similarly? I know and have seen that some of us are resilient. Treat it like water off a duck’s back. Then there are others, normally the perpetrators who bring you to this edge who seemingly don’t care about their actions, words, or intent. I wonder if they are robots, devoid of emotion and a heart that doesn’t jar when tested.

I have become a big fan of stoicism and was introduced to it through author and stoic Ryan Holiday. I highly suggest subscribing as I did to ‘Daily Stoic’ and receiving their free daily email. You are provided with wisdom from the likes of Marcus Aurelius’, Seneca, and other ancient philosophers. It is simple stuff but resounding considering these were the attitudes and mindset of human beings some 1900 years ago. With a staggering sense of reality these historic 'influencers' are amazing references for all that happens to us in life. The Stoics knew death was imminent and therefore professed to worry little about what you cannot control. Regarding spite Aurelius’ offered this:

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”

Remove the Roman prestige and we probably have modernised it into what Mum would tell us when we wanted to bop a kid in the playground; “Two wrongs don’t make a right”.

As the pandemic rages on and our daily lives remain interrupted there is a fog of gloom and helplessness in the air. In our small neck of the woods people are exasperated. They want things to return to normal and fast. I wonder if in 12 months or even 3 when the chaos of life has resumed and home detention all but forgotten whether we will yearn for some peace and quiet. My wish is to sustain the inner calm I have found these last 18 months. I am hoping to accept people for what they do and are. Like the stoics who endured plagues, wars, and some most horrible afflictions I will forge ahead and use any experience to make me stronger.

You?

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