Listening To The Right Voice

Ever felt like an imposter?

On auto pilot but deep-down questioning, analysing, and doubting your ability to complete the task you were in control of?

This is something I deal with constantly. The ‘task’ is the most interesting part of the equation as it can transcend across all parts of your life. I have felt ‘Imposter Syndrome’ in everything from running a business, being a husband, a father, a friend, a golfer, a pet owner, a card player, an entertainer, a teammate and most certainly a writer!

Sometimes the shiny exterior masks what lies within. This affliction does not have to define us. Harnessed properly it can help us become the best versions of ourselves. 19th century American president Abraham Lincoln once said if he had 4 hours to chop down a tree, he would spend 3 hours sharpening the axe.

How much sharpening of the axe we do for all the regular tasks in our life? The problem with our daily quest to be omnicompetent is the lack of experience and preparation for when trouble or challenge strikes. US college football coach Bo Schembechler had a great quote, “Every day you are getting better or worse”. I love responding to customers at the pub when asked how I am? “Good thanks and getting better,” I offer enthusiastically. It was a response I picked up from the late and great Australian rules football icon Tommy Hafey. It is somewhat of a manifestation on most occasions but surely, we want to be better than the day before and build that compound growth and improvement.

There are imposters all around us. If you probe, look close enough or interrogate the subject they may confess but I find people are willing to admit as much. Maybe it is a mental valve releasing innate pressure to admit that they are just as vulnerable as anyone else? Two of my mentors and friends in life confirmed this recently. A common underbelly of discussion and joviality led us to a point of admission that they too felt at times unsure. One a CEO of a big corporation and the other a former school principal and advocate for education share the quality that quells the imposter barometer. They both possess an inner drive to get better, be better, learn, challenge themselves and squash any limiting beliefs.

Regardless of where you find yourself in life, when the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ takes hold, it is your inner voice that will serve you best. Sure, family, friends and colleagues will tell you what you want to hear when you cast doubt in conversation but ultimately it is what you tell yourself that becomes the greatest tonic. A career transition, a sudden life challenge or random situation can have any of us doubt our ability to lead or have impact, but faith and confidence play pivotal roles. A belief that you were built to confront exactly what is in front of you at any time can help build an impenetrable shield. The target sometimes draws the arrow.

Albeit surprised, I feel refreshed when learning of a person with ‘Imposter Syndrome’. “You are human”, I silently muse. The massively successful Singer Adele suffers awfully bad stage fright and anxiety attacks. I was fortunate to see her perform live a few years ago and was blown away by her presence and incredible voice but equally intrigued with the way she would interact with the crowds in between songs often revealing her inner anxieties and fears in a “girl next door” type of manner. She at times was pretty much announcing her ‘Imposter Syndrome’. A wise friend and counsel once told me, “People only know what you tell them”, an anecdote toward safeguarding information and keeping you cards close to your chest. Why would I or anyone want to expose we are a little unsure about what we are doing? Perhaps it is part of the self-diagnosis and prescription to overcome it. To speak to it, to discuss, to seek affirmation.

More often we are good, if not great in our roles. There may be elements you are not totally confident with but seek the unique quality or skill that you bring to the table to bring the desired result. “Stay in your lane!” a football coach I recently worked with would drill into his players. “Use your 1 wood!” he would implore. A golf analogy suggesting you have a club in your golf bag that you consistently hit well, your personal contribution that makes you a valued part of the team. Real imposters whether they are conscious or not are most likely out of their lanes, using their least effective clubs and trying to get by.

Flip the script next time you find yourself with that quiet inner voice questioning your ability. Do what NBA star Chris Bosh recently suggested on The Tim Ferris Show podcast, “Tell that voice shoosh! To be quiet, to go away…..I’m working here!”

Beat your chest a little and begin the mantra.

You deserve great things.

You are meant to be where you are.

You are brilliant.