One Isn't The Loneliest Number

In stark contrast to my last blog I have been thinking a lot about solitude of late. I am more than comfortable in my own company in fact sometimes I crave it. Megalomaniac? Self-obsessed? Perhaps! I know some people cannot stand to be alone, whereas I find it liberating. The stillness is amazing. It is when I can think, create, and manifest great things. I can also try and determine what I am all about.

It is imperative you make time for you. At the time of writing this piece I have had to do it from another workplace not my normal creative hub. I set the timer for my phone to 60 minutes and made it a mere 7 in before being interrupted with the required task of that said job. I returned some 20 minutes later to re start the clock only for the pattern to repeat itself the entire day! I now understand why some people must bury themselves away from all and sundry to focus and why I schedule ‘my time’ between 6 and 7am.

Bill Gates of Microsoft fame is well known to take a week (twice a year) to disappear off the grid and just spend time ‘thinking’. I am certain he calls these weeks exactly that, ‘Thinking Week’. Not sure we can knock him considering his net worth is nearly 128 billion dollars. Money aside, I think for Bill, you, and I it is more so an opportunity to check in with ourselves.

Solitude brings great opportunities to not just live your life but study it and work out what your purpose is. Journaling, meditating, reading, writing or just about any activity on your own without distraction is a marvellous exercise to improve oneself. You and your thoughts. You and your dreams. You and your concerns.

I wonder on occasion how long I could spend on my own before I grew tired of my own company. The modern Robinson Crusoe story of Tom Hanks in the movie Castaway springs to mind with this best friend ‘Wilson’ the volleyball. I think it will always come back to context and your personal situation.

I had the great fortune of chaperoning my daughter to Scotland when she attended a school exchange program some years ago. After helping her settle in I then took advantage of a 5-day circumnavigation of this beautiful country. It was during this time I felt a spiritual lift and somewhat of a connection to a higher purpose. I was saddened that more of my family could not be there to enjoy the pristine ‘Isle of Sky’, look out from the William Wallace Monument or wander through the Grass market of Edinburgh but equally it was a special time.

Some people end up taking sabbaticals with amazing outcomes. Some would never consider the risk. Some will churn out decades of work for a pat on the back and a nice superannuation balance. There is no right or wrong method to navigate through life, but we must remind ourselves it is no dress rehearsal.

At 44 I am seemingly halfway. It is now I want to begin what has been described by Steven Pressfield in his book of the same name, ‘The Artist’s Journey’. Beginning the rest of my life with some direction to what I really want out of life. He explains the first half of your life is the ‘Hero’s Journey’ whereby you grind it out whether it be career, family or otherwise and that the second half should belong to what really lights you up. For some this may mean slight adjustments or major ones, it may require some deep analysis to determine how you want the second half to play out. For me it is a refreshing reminder we have choices. Choices to do what we want, not what others demand of you.

I spoke to an old friend recently and was thrilled to learn he had decided to become a teacher. His ‘Hero’s Journey’ had seen him play elite sport, start a little family, and become a qualified tradesman and toil away for many years. It was apparent he had spent that time to ‘check in’ and discover how we wanted the rest of his life to play out. I was proud and jealous all at the same time!

I encourage you to find your own time, albeit 5 minutes, where you can just be. You will be amazed what may transpire.